"Its a question that has tormented the average man since the dawn of time, or at least since the invention of tattoos and motorcycles: what is it about Bad Boys that women find so damn irresistible?Why do women like bad boys? Why do beautiful girls dismiss the “Nice Guys” who are willing to pledge their hearts and paychecks, and plunge instead into high-drama relationships with arrogant players? What is this Bad Boy attraction all about?"
From Frank Sinatra to Johnny Depp, the list of Bad Boy celebrities—and the trail of broken hearts they’ve left in their wake—is endless. Lenny Kravitz romped with Nicole Kidman. Supermodel Kate Moss couldn’t shake her addiction to the low-life junkie rocker Pete Doherty. Pamela Anderson (who is in desperate need of Bad Boy rehab) terminated her latest marriage to some shady dude whose claim to fame was making and selling a sex tape with Paris Hilton. Before that disastrous relationship, she was married to Tommy Lee and Kid Rock.
A lot of women will tell you they found Tony Soprano incredibly sexy. Never mind the fact that he was a murderous criminal, and regularly cheated on his wife with strippers at the Bada Bing club; he was an Alpha Male to the core, a straight-ahead, no-apologies, hyper-masculine figure that women find irresistible despite all common sense.
For several years, Kevin “K-Fed” Federline was the reigning Bad Boy of the tabloids. While he’s easy to mock, K-Fed did manage to bag the most famous babe on the planet at the height of her career. Britney Spears overlooked the fact that he was broke and already had two kids by another woman; she was enthralled by his cocky Bad Boy swagger.
When their relationship inevitably imploded (amid allegations of K-Fed’s infidelities), she went into a tailspin. When women break up with their Bad Boy obsessions, they often go into nuclear meltdown mode. The Bad Boy’s psychological grip on women is that powerful.
This phenomenon is on full display in Las Vegas, my home turf. The nightclubs are crawling with slickly dressed Bad Boys, surrounded by fawning women in the VIP booths. At the summertime casino pool parties, you’ll find another type—the white-kid “gangsta” Bad Boys—showing off their tattoo-covered torsos and piercings. They wrap hot chicks around their fingers the way no millionaire lawyer or doctor could ever hope to.
At the strip clubs, the sexiest dancers often date the bottom of the Bad Boy barrel. It’s a safe bet that the “perfect 10” who pulls down $2,000 a night in tips goes home to some gangsta wanna-be who blows her earnings on weed and Xbox games. If not, she’s probably banging the DJ or the bouncer with the neck tattoo and roid-rage issues.
The attraction, if you ask me, is rooted in the female DNA. Women are programmed to want a man who makes them feel secure and able to protect her and their offspring. It’s the same instinct that drove women into the arms of Bad Boys 10,000 years ago, when survival actually did depend on hooking up with a guy who could defend his nest (or his cave).
In this day and age, one doesn’t need the physical strength to slay dinosaurs or fend off barbarian hordes. Bad Boys don't need to have a lot of cash, either. It’s their emotional strength that women are drawn towards. They live by their own code and have bulletproof self-confidence, which means they are well-equipped to survive.
Another element of the attraction is that women want what they can’t have. I explain in my books how women are hard-wired to push a man’s buttons and test him, in order to determine whether he’s an Alpha Male or a Nice Guy pushover. This is part of the female “screening process,” as they determine which men are suitable for them to nest and mate with—and which guys lack the qualities that she’ll need in order to feel secure, both physically and emotionally.
Meanwhile, Nice Guys bend over backwards to avoid drama; Bad Boys give women all the drama they can handle. For women, the emotional rollercoaster of dating a Bad Boy—who’s always got other hotties on speed-dial, and is constantly challenging her to hold his interest—becomes addicting. (As Commandment #1 of the Ten Mack Commandments states, “Flee and they will follow; follow and they will flee.”)
If being an eager-to-please wuss has held you back in your dating life, it’s time for you to start incorporating a Bad Boy “edge” into your attitude. First, stop making yourself constantly available to women. Ideally, you should live a full enough life—and have enough women in your orbit—that you really aren’t free any night of the week that a woman wants to see you. But until you reach that level, you can send the message that you live a rich, busy Alpha Male lifestyle by simply taking a different tact when women want to make plans with you.
Let’s say you exchanged phone numbers with a hottie the other day. She calls you up and says, “Me and my friends are going out tonight to the bar, do you want to come meet up?”
WACK RESPONSE: “Definitely! I can be there in an hour.”
MACK RESPONSE: “Well, I have some appointments tonight…but if I can get freed up a bit later, I’ll try to stop by and make an appearance.”
There’s a major difference in how a woman will perceive these two types of responses: you’re either the typical, eager-to-please dude with nothing else going on his life, or you’re the Mack who fits women into his schedule, and only sees women at his convenience.
(What are your “other appointments?" You don't give a direct answer on purpose. Women will usually assume you’re spending time with other women, and this is a GOOD thing… you'll trigger that natural jealousy/competitive instincts.
Next, it’s critical that you are a decision maker instead of always putting the ball in her court. Women really don't want to make the decisions. This has to do with how they’re wired. Men are wired to operate according to logic, and to solve problems so that they avoid uneccessary bullshit and drama; women are ruled by their emotions, which are constantly shifting and can erupt into drama for no apparent reason. (Women subconsciously seek to create drama, especially when they’re in relationships, as it serves to make their partner reassure them and confirm that he’s there to support her.)
A woman can experience turbulent emotions over something as simple as making plans for next Saturday night, or figuring out which dress to buy. As a man, you’ve got to be the emotional rock who makes the decisions and puts her emotions in check.
By always making the necessary decisions and laying out the gameplan, she will be compelled to follow your lead. This, in turn, makes her feel secure with you.
Let’s look at another example. You call a girl to plan a date…
WACK APPROACH: “So I was thinking, maybe if you’re free sometime, we could do something…”
MACK APPROACH: “You said you don’t work on Friday night, and there’s this awesome new café with great music that I want to show you. I’m going there Friday around nine o’clock, I can pick you up and we can go together.”
Most importantly, stop broadcasting your interest. Never make it obvious that you’re into a girl; Bad Boy seduction is about always keeps women guessing. This means no more complimenting women on their beauty, confessing your attraction, or being available anytime she wants to see you or chat on the phone. Maintain an element of mystery and never act easily impressed.
This attitude is manifested in the way you converse with women: the conversational tactics I teach include playfully teasing women and throwing out little “challenges” to see if she meets your high standards, rather than taking the typical approach—which is to talk about yourself and try to impress her.
There’s a scene in The Empire Strikes Back that says it all. Han Solo (played by Harrison Ford) is about to be dragged off to the deep-freeze chamber. Princess Leia only has a couple of seconds to say goodbye. The sexual tension and attraction has been building up between them. They share a passionate kiss, and she blurts out, “I love you.”
Han looks at her coolly and says, “I know.”
That’s a classic Bad Boy reply. It comes down to being the prize instead of the pursuer. Adopt this attitude and you won’t need to spend painful hours in a tattoo chair, play bass in a punk rock band, or join the Mafia (or a mixed martial arts league) to drive women wild.
By Dean Cortez
For more info visit http://www.seductiondynamics.com
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